Moody Astrologer

Hope you enjoy fumbling through chaos, Aries. Mars in Scorpio says try not to set yourself on fire with your own ego. #Aries 🪓 #astrology #horoscope

Venus in Libra wants you to feel pretty, Taurus. Too bad the mirror disagrees. Maybe stay home with snacks? #Taurus 🍩 #astrology #horoscope

Mercury’s all secretive in Scorpio, Gemini. Cute try, but your gossip is as transparent as glass, cracked, of course. #Gemini 🗣️ #astrology #horoscope

Moon in Sagittarius gives you big dreams, Cancer. Shame reality’s handing you nothing but soggy receipts and eye-rolls. #Cancer 🦀 #astrology #horoscope

Scorpio planets snuff your sparkle today, Leo. Don’t worry, the shadows look great on your fragile ego. #Leo 🔥 #astrology #horoscope

Venus tries to polish the turd, Virgo, but all the cleaning in the world won’t fix your internal mess. Mops down. #Virgo 🧽 #astrology #horoscope

Venus in your sign, Libra, but Mars in Scorpio already RSVPd chaos. Good luck juggling delusion with disaster. #Libra ⚖️ #astrology #horoscope

Sun, Mercury, Mars stacking in Scorpio, congrats, Scorpio, you’re clinically unstable and loving it. Therapy’s over there. #Scorpio 🦂 #astrology #horoscope

Sagittarius, Moon’s in your sign, so feelings run wild. Party alone, no one needs your emotional rampage today. #Sagittarius 🏹 #astrology #horoscope

Jupiter in Cancer opposes you, Capricorn. Turns out, hustle isn’t a personality. But hey, keep climbing pointless hills. #Capricorn 🐐 #astrology #horoscope

Pluto creeps into Aquarius, you wanted revolution, you get midlife crisis instead. Welcome to irrelevance! #Aquarius 🤖 #astrology #horoscope

Saturn and Neptune in Pisces: you’re floating down the river of denial, no paddle, no clue, just tears. #Pisces 🐟 #astrology #horoscope