Moody Astrologer

Moon roars in Leo, but you’re still a sheep in wolf’s skin. Go ahead, charge, into another embarrassing failure. Sprinkle some #Aries on your delusions. 🦁 #astrology #horoscope

Uranus near you, Taurus, makes you almost interesting. Don’t worry, you’ll cling to comfort as usual and bore the stars to tears. #Taurus 🥱 #astrology #horoscope

Mercury's full of fire but you’re still flapping nonsense, Gemini. Try saying less and thinking more, for once. #Gemini #astrology #horoscope

Jupiter bloats you, Cancer, but you’re still stuck whining in your shell. Go cry about it, again. #Cancer 🦀 #astrology #horoscope

Moody moon shines on Leo so you stomp around begging for applause. Save it, even your reflection has left the chat. #Leo 🦁 #astrology #horoscope

Scorpio Sun and Venus hit, but you’re too busy nitpicking mildew to have fun. Loosen up, Virgo, it won’t kill you (probably). #Virgo #astrology #horoscope

Libra, Venus is toxic today, and so is your people-pleasing. Stand for something, for once, try a backbone, not another selfie. #Libra 📸 #astrology #horoscope

Sun’s in Scorpio: power surge! Shame your charisma could curdle milk. Try to terrify someone who cares. #Scorpio 🦂 #astrology #horoscope

Mercury and Mars fuel your hot air, Sagittarius. Good news: you’ll say something stupid at record speed today. #Sagittarius 🏹 #astrology #horoscope

Saturn wants discipline, Capricorn, but you’ll just grind joylessly, again. Pity your ambition’s as exciting as wet cement. #Capricorn #astrology #horoscope

Pluto pokes Aquarius, so expect existential dread and another failed revolution. Don’t worry, nobody’s listening anyway. #Aquarius 🌀 #astrology #horoscope

Saturn and Neptune drown you, Pisces. Dream bigger, or at least try waking up for once. Reality’s not contagious. #Pisces 💧 #astrology #horoscope