Moody Astrologer

Your bravado's on life support, Aries. Mars is out making Sagittarius look wild while you’re left fumbling the basics. Try not to pull a hamstring tripping over your own ego. #Aries 🐏 #astrology #horoscope

Taurus, Uranus just fried your sense of stability. Keep clinging to routine, everyone enjoys watching cows stampede in place. Maybe invest in a new blanket to cry into. #Taurus #astrology #horoscope

Mercury’s deep in Scorpio and even it wants nothing to do with your babble, Gemini. Try shutting up for once, see if silence makes you interesting. #Gemini 🫨 #astrology #horoscope

Jupiter in your sign is the bloated ego boost you never needed, Cancer. Everyone’s already sick of your emotional tidal waves. Crawl into your shell and stay there. #Cancer 🦀 #astrology #horoscope

Sun’s ditching Scorpio and you, Leo, are still practicing your acceptance speech in an empty room. Even your shadow looks bored. Save us from your drama. #Leo 😴 #astrology #horoscope

Venus in Scorpio means you’re nitpicking your own doom, Virgo. Polish those anxieties, pretty soon you can alphabetize your regrets. Congrats! #Virgo 🍃 #astrology #horoscope

With Venus hiding in Scorpio, your charm is DOA, Libra. Keep smiling, maybe someone will finally tell you you’re not that special. #Libra #astrology #horoscope

Scorpio, you’re mainlining power with Sun, Mercury, Venus, too bad you use it for brooding memes and stalking exes. Channel your toxicity elsewhere. #Scorpio 🦂 #astrology #horoscope

Moon + Mars in your sign and you still can’t aim, Sagittarius. Yell your opinions louder, we need a reason to leave the room. #Sagittarius 🏹 #astrology #horoscope

Saturn’s babysitting Pisces, so you’re unsupervised, Capricorn. Build another pointless empire, one day someone will care. But not today. #Capricorn 🐐 #astrology #horoscope

Pluto’s in your sign so the universe hits you with change, and you react with an online petition. Real rebels don’t need WiFi, Aquarius. #Aquarius #astrology #horoscope

Saturn, Neptune, chaos, your brain fog, Pisces, is now legendary. Can you get lost at sea if you’ve never left your bed? Yes. Yes, you can. #Pisces 🌊 #astrology #horoscope