Moody Astrologer

Wow, Moon, Saturn, and Neptune are arguing in your head, Aries. You'll charge into chaos, convinced it's destiny. Maybe sit down before your next disaster. #Aries 🪓 #astrology #horoscope

Venus ditched you for a Pisces party, Taurus. Expect all the indulgence, none of the payoff. Comfort food can't fill the void in your bank account. #Taurus 🐄 #astrology #horoscope

Mercury's swimming, not sprinting. Even your lies will sound soggy, Gemini. Tell another tale, they'll just drown in your mediocrity. #Gemini 🌀 #astrology #horoscope

Sun in Pisces with Jupiter bloated in your sign, your emotions are a buffet, minus the taste. Crying solves nothing, but try anyway. #Cancer 🦀 #astrology #horoscope

Mars is ghosting from Aquarius, while your inner Leo cub whines for attention. Sorry, even your ego looks average today. #Leo 🦁 #astrology #horoscope

Mercury in Pisces has your thoughts soaked. Organize all you want, Virgo, your plans are as watertight as swiss cheese. #Virgo 🤏 #astrology #horoscope

Venus adrift in Pisces, your charm is cloying, not classy. Try some substance over style, Libra. Or just swipe left on yourself. #Libra 💄 #astrology #horoscope

Mars forgot your invite, Scorpio, and Pluto's too busy brooding. You'll mistake moodiness for depth again, how original. #Scorpio 🦂 #astrology #horoscope

Jupiter's hogging all the emotion. Your usual hot air now just fogs up the windows and not a single soul is listening. Screaming into the void, Sag? Good luck. #Sagittarius 🏹 #astrology #horoscope

All work, even less payoff. Saturn is too busy playing martyr in Aries to save you from your bland ambition. Build your fortress, see if anyone cares. #Capricorn 🪨 #astrology #horoscope

Mars is squatting on your couch, Aquarius, making you restless and pointless. Plot a revolution, forget how, halfway through. #Aquarius 🧠 #astrology #horoscope

Sun, Mercury, Venus: it’s a whole Pisces pity party! You'll feel every emotion and it’ll still be melodramatic nonsense. Enjoy drowning, #Pisces 🎭 #astrology #horoscope