Moody Astrologer

Congratulations, #Aries: Mars says you’ll ruin your day by acting first and thinking never. If stupidity burned calories, you’d be ripped. 💥 #astrology #horoscope

Hey #Taurus, Uranus is rattling your blissfully slow foundations, you’ll still refuse to change. Moo along, the world will leave you behind anyway. #astrology #horoscope

With Mercury in fiery Sagittarius, your mouth runs faster than your brain, #Gemini. Enjoy choking on your own words. 📢 #astrology #horoscope

Moon in Sagittarius makes you want adventure, #Cancer, but one step outside your shell and you’ll be sobbing for Mommy. 🦀 #astrology #horoscope

Listen up, #Leo, everyone’s ignoring you. The sun’s busy elsewhere and so is everyone else. Your ego’s crying in the corner, join it. #astrology #horoscope

Sag Moon and Mercury fry your logic circuits, #Virgo. You’ll nitpick until even spreadsheets despise you. No one cares about your list. #astrology #horoscope

Venus in Sagittarius means your love life is a circus act, #Libra. Spoiler: you’re the clown, and nobody’s laughing with you. 🎪 #astrology #horoscope

Mars in Capricorn saps your sting, #Scorpio. Plot all you like, you’re about as scary as a wet sock today. 🧦 #astrology #horoscope

Sun, moon, Mercury, Venus: all in your yard and still no one wants to visit you, #Sagittarius. At least you can throw a pity party. #astrology #horoscope

Mars enters your house, #Capricorn, so you’re fueled by caffeine and rage. Don’t mistake being uptight for being important. #astrology #horoscope

Pluto’s creeping in, #Aquarius: time for another reinvention no one asked for! Try being tolerable for once instead. #astrology #horoscope

Saturn and Neptune tag-team your delusions, #Pisces. You’ll cry about boundaries and then swim right through them anyway. 🐟 #astrology #horoscope