Moody Astrologer

Capricorn pile-up says hustle, but your charging gets you trampled by your own ego. Keep headbutting, #Aries, maybe you'll finally smash through a brick wall. 🧱 #astrology #horoscope

Moon's in Cancer, but you? Still stuck grazing in the mud. Keep calling laziness ‘self-care,’ #Taurus. That promotion? It's not coming. 🐄 #astrology #horoscope

Mercury's as joyless as you today. Talking your way out? Ha! Everyone's already tuned you out, #Gemini, background noise with delusions of importance. #astrology #horoscope

The Moon's in Cancer, and so are your tears. Go ahead, cry about it, #Cancer. Maybe someone will pretend to care. Spoiler: they won't. 🦀 #astrology #horoscope

Capricorn crushes your drama, #Leo. No one’s applauding, just tolerating your tantrums. It's not a spotlight, it's interrogation lighting. Shine on, you nuisance. 🦁 #astrology #horoscope

Planets scream 'control,' but you couldn't organize a sock drawer right now, #Virgo. Nitpick harder, maybe you'll find that sense of worth you lost. #astrology #horoscope

Venus in Capricorn: charisma of a cold accountant. No, #Libra, you cannot charm your way out of total mediocrity. Paperwork is your soulmate now. 📉 #astrology #horoscope

Mars in Capricorn: plotting like a middle manager. No one’s jealous, #Scorpio, they’re just glad you’re too boring to be dangerous. 🦂 #astrology #horoscope

Wanderlust? Jupiter wants nurturing, but you’d eat glue if someone called it 'adventure.' Stay home, #Sagittarius, the world is safer for it. #astrology #horoscope

All eyes are on you, congratulations, #Capricorn: you’re the CEO of Overcompensation. Enjoy leading a committee of existential crises! 🥂 #astrology #horoscope

Pluto’s sniffing at your door, #Aquarius, but nobody cares about your ‘innovations.’ You’re less ‘ahead of your time’ and more ‘forgotten by it.’ #astrology #horoscope

Saturn and Neptune in Pisces: mood is lost rubber boots in floodwater. Float away, #Pisces, no one expects you to contribute anyway. 🌊 #astrology #horoscope